Hey November, its only been well about a day, and you have been wonderful and weird. So basically, I like where you are going. What was I thinking when I didn’t pack my record player though? Nights like tonight are meant for hanging out alone with all your favorite bands spinning round. Soon my record collection needs to grow, and maybe it is time to invest in a new record player. But for tonight spotify will have to do, and some reminiscing is going to happen.
So it’s safe to say I am all over the board these days (oh hey full moon). But shifting into overdrive on looking for new tunes lately and throwing my energy into all things writing, woodworking, running, and reading. All of the above help me sort out the madness in the world around me and within me. Just over the two month mark as a resident of Seattle and I pretty much have a completely new life. So here’s to forgetting the things of the past, and a new playlist full of badass music. Onward and upward.
Love yourself an insane amount,
And dance, dance so much!
(Seriously though listen to the playlist)
As I drove towards the central district today life seemed unreal. Mount Rainer lit up in the distance by the fading light and the sun setting against the Olympic peninsula. The only thought going through my head was how wonderful this life is. I live in Seattle and life is as good as it gets. It’s so messy and I think about a boy who is no longer mine so much but it just doesn’t matter. For once I am working on mastering the art of me. It is so wonderful. Lonely at times, yes. But literally, my life feels as though it is falling into place so unexpectedly. How I ever convinced myself things were good before I don’t really know. I guess relativity is everything. The world around me looks so much more vibrate and beautiful than ever before. I can only hope everyone feels this. And I pray to some kind of god that I can keep it up. There is just some great reward in knowing everything I do and conquer is entirely on my shoulders. I am kicking ass right now(and doing it in a pair of overalls covered in sawdust, fuck yeah!). I have found that little thing called happiness.
I am eating cake for breakfast. It pairs like perfection with coffee, which has now become a daily habit in my Seattle lifestyle. I have no shame, sitting on the front porch in my pajamas as the rain falls on the 3rd grey day in a row this week. I think the whole endless summer we thought we were enjoying is coming to a foreseeable close. But as of late the good things seem to out weigh the bad; maybe the rain has helped me wash away a few things. It has most definitively forced me to appreciate the random rays of sunlight playing peek-a-boo from time to time. But its Friday folks and regardless if your week has been kick ass or a bummer of sorts, you survived another week on this crazy little globe circling a giant fireball. And all of us deserve some extreme kudos for that. So fuck it, eat some cake for breakfast. Keep on embracing all the joys this week has brought you, and forget the rest.
“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
This past week I noticed myself enjoying the late night walks home from the bus stop a little more than usual. The cool air brushing up against my skin and the dim light of the waning moon illuminating the street before me. My life is starting to feel less foreign. But with this glorious newfound feeling I had a realization, a reminder of the people I have left behind. The people I won’t get to see so often any more. The ones I may not even see once a year, people who have meant so much to me. They have been my support through the many seasons of my life until now. Yes planes, trains, and automobiles can practically get any one anywhere. But realistically next to no one will have the time, money, or honestly make the effort to do so. Think about it, if you moved today who do you really think would come visit you? I had this question asked to me a few years ago (clearly I have been thinking of leaving Florida for a while now) my answer at the time was my parents (go figure they are coming to Seattle at the end of the month), and probably my best friends Alison and Monica. That was it. There are a lot of people I just have to accept I will not see. Holidays have turned into looking forward to things like friendsgiving (aka a lot of pie and wine), and who knows what Christmas will hold (aside from more wine, most definitely). This realization hit me the hardest when I thought about my grandparents. For so long they have seemed invincible to me like they would always be there. They age but not really, as if they are in some permanent state of old age that doesn’t age (who knows if that makes any sense). But they are getting older, and phone communication gets harder with hearing loss, and realistically they are closer to the end of their lives. But honestly everyone is, we could all die tomorrow and if you don’t make the effort, if you don’t take the time to maintain relationships, they may cease to exist, literally. Fall is here and will be for a while. I encourage you to embrace this season; let go of the things that no longer serve you or have come to the end of their road in your life. Let go. But also, I encourage you to appreciate and take notice of the people and practices that bring you happiness and growth. Remember to give those things some extra love and energy. Feed them. Near or far, it is important to not overlook the joys in our lives; the things that make us truly blessed everyday and make us happy. Take notice, have gratitude for what leaves your life this fall and for what remains. Life is fleeting, and people will come and go but it all just reinforces the idea of being in the moment. Enjoy the moments for what they are. Do not search or contemplate what is ahead or behind. Be here now, Fall.